Start Wearing Fishnets
by imagines writes
Summary: Crack. Yuugi won't stop writing in a Hello Kitty notebook. Kaiba is wearing eyeliner and writing angsty poems. Ryuuji vows to get to the bottom of this insanity. NOT written on a sugar high, in case you were wondering.


**Notes:** For LJ user slowoverkill, who asked for angsty implied Gozaburo/Seto, as well as Seto/Ryuuji/Yuugi, and something about a notebook. Crack deserving of a capital C, mostly because it turned into kind of a Deathnote crossover. Without the death. Rated G/K. 699 words. 

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the pretty.

-

Ryuuji had always thought Hello Kitty was evil, and when Yuugi started carrying a glittery notebook of what he insisted was a manly blue color-- with the false-sweet visage of that hellcat emblazoned on the front cover-- Ryuuji knew the world was in for trouble.

For starters, there was the mystery of what Yuugi was writing in that notebook during classes. Whatever it was caused him to stare at Ryuuji for long periods of time, and then scribble frantically in his notebook with a silly grin on his face. Frankly, that unneved Ryuuji.

The next day, Kaiba came to school with eyeliner on-- and were those _fishnets_ under his pants? Ryuuji promptly forgot the notebook in favour of ogling him.

Two days later, Kaiba read a poem to their grammar class, which had half the class in tears and the other half _bored_ to tears. Ryuuji was of the sobbing half, and could hardly believe that Kaiba had had such an awful life, yet had become one of the most powerful men in Japan-- nay, in the _world_! What an inspiration. If Kaiba could survive being abandoned by his parents and getting adopted by an evil man who did evil things to him, and still rise to the top, then Ryuuji could certainly pass his math class.

He glanced to his left, where Yuugi sat, expecting to see him equally moved and enthralled-- then rolled his eyes. Yuugi was writing in his notebook again, and his smile this time was positively demonic. Ryuuji vowed to steal the notebook at the next opportunity and figure out what was so important that Yuugi would ignore Kaiba's wonderful poem.

Opportunity knocked at lunchtime. Yuugi forgot mustard for his hamburger, and when he went to get some, he left his book bag within Ryuuji's reach. There was a blue glint coming from the bag. The glint of... _glitter_.

Ryuuji prided himself on being sneaky. Within the short moment that Yuugi wasn't looking, Ryuuji snatched the blue notebook and stuffed it under his shirt. Yuugi returned to an seemingly innocent Ryuuji, who was calmly devouring his spaghetti and trying to keep the wire spiral of the notebook from stabbing his belly.

-

Ryuuji's chance to read the notebook didn't come until he got home. He dashed to his room, flopped down on his bed, extracted the notebook's spine from his skin, and relaxed into the pillows to read.

"Page one, day one.

"I don't believe that this notebook will do what the shinigami said it would. It's too sparkly and cute to be truly evil. But the only way to find out is to test it, right?

"Test one: Otogi Ryuuji will become gay within the next three days."

_What?_ He wasn't gay! Obviously, the notebook hadn't worked. Nevermind that he stared a lot at Kaiba. Everyone stared at Kaiba these days.

"Test two: Kaiba Seto will begin wearing eyeliner and will write angsty poems about his childhood."

A-ha! Yuugi was in cahoots with Kaiba to screw with Ryuuji's mind. He must have planned for Ryuuji to steal the notebook, that was it! The kid was devious, Ryuuji had to give him that. Too bad Ryuuji could see through his scheme.

"Test three: Otogi Ryuuji and Kaiba Seto will fall in love with me and prove it by giving me chocolate on Valentine's Day."

Valentine's Day was the very next day! Ryuuji ran through a mental checklist. In love with Yuugi? Nope. A little freaked out? Yep. Yuugi was going to great extremes to get what he wanted, but it wasn't going to work on Otogi Ryuuji, no sir!

There was time for reading more of the notebook later. Ryuuji needed his beauty sleep. He turned off the light, crawled under his blankets, and closed his eyes.

-

On Valentine's Day, Ryuuji and Kaiba were both late to school. They'd fought for half an hour over who was going to get to buy the huge red box of chocolates, though neither of them could quite remember why they needed to buy chocolate.


End file.
